


Honey, I'm Here

by MASD_1138



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dissociation, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt, Kes is worried, Poe is trying is best, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Rain, Thunder and Lightning, Yavin 4, rey is so supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 09:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MASD_1138/pseuds/MASD_1138
Summary: Poe has been a soldier since he can remember and, sometimes, he forgets that he no longer is one. While Rey is away, a thunderstorm brings him back to the war.





	Honey, I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to day one of Damerey Week! The first theme is cold. English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes. We’re starting with some angst. Just a warning Poe has a severe panic attack (he has difficultly knowing where he is and think he’s back during the war and pretty much dissociates) that results in him getting hurt. I don’t really describe the wound or anything, but if blood disturbs you, I wouldn’t recommend reading this. I got the idea for this while listening to “Work Song” by Hozier (mainly the chorus).

Sometimes, Poe forgets the war is over. He can be doing the simplest task and suddenly he has the feeling something is wrong. Loud noises can make him go into panic attacks and unexpected touches will, on bad days, make him flinch no matter who it’s from. Most days, he can manage it and do his tasks properly, taking his mind off the bad things that happened to him during the war. Going back Yavin 4, building a home there and buying land to expand his father’s Koyo melon business has helped him to get better. 

Rey is easily and without a doubt the best thing in his life. She grounds him and makes him feel sane on days where he doesn’t feel like he can trust his own mind. She’ll lay on his chest when he wakes up screaming at night and reassure him that he’s fine. When he fazes out and reality slips away from him, Rey will slip her hands into his, grounding him to her and guiding him back to where he belongs. He knows he scares her sometimes, when he won’t snap out of it or at night when he suddenly panics and he quickly covers her as if there is an intruder in their bedroom. He’s trying to get better for her and he has. It was way worse in the beginning of their relationship, when the war was still raging on and the chance of one of them dying terribly high. Now it only happens from time to time, depending on the days.

Today is one of those days. Rey has been away on a trip for Leia for a week. She should have been back yesterday, but Poe got a message last night, after waiting for her to come back all day, stating that Rey had sent a short message saying that the mission was taking longer than she expected. Poe had tried to go to sleep, but he hadn’t been able to close his eyes all night. When he got out of bed this morning, he was jumpy and nervous, barely able to down his cup of caff. 

Normally, he would go over to his father’s compound and spend the day with him, but Kes is off planet to buy new equipment for the farm. Kes, being a former soldier and knowing how hard it is to adapt to civilian life, has been doing all that he can to make sure Rey and Poe are doing okay, both mentally and physically. He usually never leaves one of them alone on the farm, but since Rey was supposed to come back the day he left, Poe should have been alone for just a couple of hours. 

Poe looks out the window of the kitchen, fixated with the torrential rain that’s pouring out of the skies. It’s fitting that the weather’s miserable, as he’s miserable when Rey isn’t by his side. Yavin’s rain season, if you can even call it a season since it rains all year long, is making itself known this year. Poe has been spending most of his days outside with Rey and his father fixing things that are being broken by the floods brought in by the winter rains.

His data-pad pings on the counter beside him and he looks at the notification, sighing when he sees that a fence on the perimeter has been disconnected. He grabs his blaster and holsters it, putting his tool belt around his hips before shrugging into his rain gear. He puts his work gloves on and steps into the pounding rain. He walks down the rows of Koyo trees like he’s on autopilot, trapped in a body that brings him forward without him controlling it, stopping only to check if everything is fine with the equipment that regulates the crops. He gets to the section where the broken fence alert was and spots the breached segment. It’s bad, but he doesn’t think he’ll have to go back to the workshop to get parts to fix it. He kneels down in the mud and gets to work.

He’s been kneeling in the mud for about twenty-five minutes when the first crack of lightning splits the sky in half. The light makes him jump, but it’s the thunder that makes him drop his tool. He takes a deep breath trying to calm his pounding heart, but all that comes out is ragged short breaths. He tries to grip his tool in the mud as another round of thunder crackles loudly in the atmo, making him put both of his hands in the mud, his breathing even more laboured. He tries to get up, deciding that he needs to get back inside before he can’t even move, but there’s another round of thunder, even louder that the last one and it throws him back into one of the last firefight that he was in. His eyes are closed, yet he can see X-wings and A-Wings hitting the ground, exploding into balls of fire. He hears the scream of his pilots in his ears, asking for back up and help. He opens his eyes, looking down at his hands and tries to get up again. He’s shaking so badly that he looses his footing and falls against the broken fence, a piece of metal cutting into the skin of his back. He screams out in frustration, the pain reminding him of the day he threw himself in front of Rey, protecting her as they fought against a bunch of Stormtroopers that they ran into during a mission that had gone south. He knows he has to get up, but he just can’t. His body feels too heavy and the effort too much. The ground is cold, just like the vast space that has claimed so many of his friend. He’s lost in his head, spiralling down memories of pain and lost.

If anybody stumbled upon him, they would only see a man leaning against a fence looking down at his hands as cold rain washed over him. He doesn’t look in pain or in panic, he’s just there. But if they’d come closer, they’d see that the back of his jacket is ripped and blood is trickling down his back, mixing with the mud. His eyes are closed and small tremors are running through his limbs.

However nobody can stumble upon him as he’s deep in his property where only two people could ever find him.

***

Rey breaches atmo, manoeuvring her X-wing through the storm in direction of the farm. She lands her ship in the mud carefully and starts the shut-down sequence. She had tried to contact Poe this afternoon, but she he hadn’t answered. She excited to finally see him after their long week apart and kiss him silly. She unloads R2-D2 and walks towards their house with the droid in tow. She unlocks the doors and relaxes as she removes her outer-layers, putting her bag beside the door. However, she frowns when notices that Beebee is still in his charging station and that Poe isn’t coming to greet her like he always does.

“Poe?” Rey calls out. “Flyboy, are you in the house?” Still no answer. “Honey, you’re scaring me. Where are you?” Rey realizes that she’s not going to get an answer. She doesn’t remove her boots and runs to the back of the house, where their bedroom is, but Poe isn’t there. She immediately goes to the workshop that’s adjacent to the house. Maybe he’s working on a project and he’s making too much noise to hear her. She sees that his blaster is gone, so is his rain gear and tool belt. The speeder is still there so he can’t have gone far. He would have left a note on the door if he had left the compound. She runs to the kitchen, quickly finding the security data-pad. She opens it and sees the notification about the broken fence. Without thinking twice, she runs out of the house in that direction, a bad feeling creeping into her bones. 

Then she spots him. He doesn’t look good at all.

“Poe!” She yells as loudly as she can over the rain. He doesn’t move or look up at her. “Poe please!” She screams again, still running towards him. She slides on her knees so she’s in front of him and cradles his face in her hands. 

Then, she spots the blood mixed in the water on the ground. She keeps one hand on his face and the other one goes to his back, feeling the ruptured skin. She panics sliding the hand that’s on his face to his neck, relieved when she feels his steady pulse. She swipes the hand that’s covered in blood on her tunic and tries to make him look up at her. His skin is cold and his lips have a slight blue tint to them.

“Poe! Please, please honey, wake up! It’s me! It’s Rey, I’m home!” She says as loudly as she can, hoping that he’ll hear her. She repeats it another time, shaking him slightly so she doesn’t disturb his back. She’s crying, trying to wake him. “Poe, I need you to look at me,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from screaming. 

His eyes flutter open, making her choke on her tears. They aren’t focused, but at least they’re open. Rey puts her hand under his chin, lifting his head so his gaze is on her. The cloudiness in his eyes slowly disappears. There’s a reason he calls her his sunshine.

“Rey?” He croaks out, one of his hand gripping her knee. He doesn’t look fully conscious, but at least he recognizes her.

“It’s me. I need you to stand up, okay? You’re hurt and I’m going to help you, can you do that?”

“I’m cold,” he mumbles, his head heavy in her hands.

“I know honey, I know. I’m here and I will help you,” she tries to encourage him. She’s guessing that he’s been out here for at least seven hours given the notification on the data-pad and knowing him, he must have gone to fix it immediately. “I’ll get you warm again. If you stand up and lean on me, you won’t be cold anymore.” It’s a small lie, but one she hopes will be enough to motivate him.

“I’ll try,” he mumbles, lifting one of his hand to touch the side of her face. Normally, she would lean in, enjoying the warmth that seems to always radiate from his skin, but now his palm is simply cold. “Help me?”

“Of course flyboy, anything for you,” she puts her arms under his and lifts him up, not stoping when Poe groans, his back probably hurting him. She needs to get him inside as quickly as she possibly can, patch up his back and get him warmed up. She hauls him towards the house, whispering words of encouragement in his ear. She uses the Force to open the door of the house and carries Poe inside. She lowers him to the carpet of the living room on his chest and straitens up, running to the fresher to get the medkit. 

“Bee, call Kes and tell him to come back. I don’t care where he is, get him here!” The little droid comes out of rest mode and beeps in acknowledgement. 

Rey grabs all the bacta that’s in the kit and wet towels before sprinting back to Poe’s side. She rips the rest of the jacket and shirt off, assessing the situation. Thankfully, the continuous downpour of rain had kept the wound relatively clean. It isn’t too deep, nothing that bacta can’t fix, but it’s the blood loss that worries her. She closes the gash, smears a load of bacta gel all over his back and puts bacta dressings on it for good measure. When she’s sure that he’s stable enough, she goes back to the medkit and grabs the antibiotic and pain shots.

Once Poe is medicated and his wound is properly dressed, she starts removing his soaked and dirty clothing. She pulls his boots off and his socks, rubbing his icy feet in her hands. He’s shivering and is skin is so cold it scares her. Poe tries to take her hand, but the meds are making him slow. Rey grabs it and kisses the back of it before pulling his pants off, leaving him only in his underwear. She stands up and does the same to herself so she’s standing only in her breast band and her underwear. 

“We’re going to take a hot shower and then we’ll get into bed together. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Poe mumbles, still face down on the living room carpet.

Rey hauls Poe off the floor and walks him to the fresher where she turns the water on, making sure it’s warm. She manoeuvres them under the warm spray of water, supporting him.

After about ten minutes of standing in silence, Poe’s hands grasp her waist and he lets out a deep breath. 

“Sunshine?” He speaks out, his head lifting from her shoulder. He looks more aware of what is going on.

“Welcome back flyboy.” She kisses him softly on his lips. “Are you feeling better?” 

“My back hurts.” 

“You ripped it open on the broken fence. What happened?”

“I was working outside when the thunder happened. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t know where I was and the last thing I remember was slipping in the mud. What time is it?”

 

“You were outside for about seven hours for what I can guess. Were you okay when you woke up this morning?” Rey knows it’s hard for him to remember things when he fazes out like this, but she has to ask.

“I was fine until I got the message that your mission was going to take longer. Then I couldn’t sleep and when I got out of bed, I knew it was one of those day, but I needed to fix that fence,” he tells her, his voice laced with tiredness. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I should be doing better,” he says with shame.

“You are doing the best that you can and that’s all that I can ask of you.” She kisses him again, wanting him to believe her. “I love all of you Poe.”

“I love you so much Rey.”

“Let’s get you into bed,” she tells him.

Rey helps him out of the fresher and into soft pyjama pants. She lays him down in bed and gets herself dried up. She slips into bed beside him, running her hands in his wet curls, helping him fall asleep quicker. He’s laying on his stomach so there is no pressure on his wounded back. The cold is slowly easing out of his bones and his mind drifts to sleep. 

“I’m here,” Rey repeats each time he flinches awake, asking for her. “Honey, I’m here,” she’ll whisper again and again until he relaxes and goes back to sleep.

When Kes runs into the house and follows Beebee to the bedroom, he stops in the doorway, bracing himself on the wall. Rey has dried track of tears on her face and her hands drawing soft patterns on his son’s injured back. The only relief he has is the slow rise and fall of his boy’s chest.

“What happened?” Kes whispers, his voice trapped in his throat by his emotions. Beebee had only told him that Master Poe had a bad accident and that Master Rey needed him to come home. 

“He was so cold,” is all that Rey can answer.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry for this, but I swear that tomorrow is a fluffy one! I know Yavin 4 is a jungle planet, but I decided that there is also winter on the planet for plot purposes. Thank you for reading this and I love reading what you think of my stories so leave a comment if you feel like it. 
> 
> Should I write a part 2?


End file.
